


Total life forever. Winterhawk soulmate AU

by eyasarcher



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 19:49:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5979085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyasarcher/pseuds/eyasarcher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint Barton always saw the world a bit differently to everyone else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Total life forever. Winterhawk soulmate AU

**Author's Note:**

> This is a mish mash. I've merged a whole load of the different media forms and plotlines. It's probably a bit rough round the edges so take it easy, please let me know if there's any TYPOS/Tense issues etc.  
> Was listening to > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaVE4WVlsDQ whilst writing this.

When I was a small boy, the world around me was blinding, it was lit up with vivid colour. I spent sleepless nights peering through the blinds at the depthy blue darkness that seemed to envelop the world beyond my window sill, to those older than me, the night was just that; black and dark. To me however, I could make out all the layers of blues and whites and greys that were sprawled through the sky, I could see the green of the tree’s even through the night.

 

Barney used to tease me, I couldn’t stand the vivid colour of the daytime, the yellows of the tulips blinded me and the whites of the walls were scary; though they were nothing compared to the red I saw when my dad was around. I had always preferred the more subtle tones of the night, Barney had joked that my vision was better than most, it wasn’t till I got older that the daunting realisation that I might not actually have a soulmate hit me.

 

I mean, granted, I was bestowed with a better set of eyes than most others, but that still didn’t explain that by the time I was 15, I still saw life in vivid colours, colours that made my stomach curl and my head spin. By the time Barney was 19 and I was 16, his world had faded to dull pastels and copious amounts of greys and whites; I’m not sure he ever did find his soulmate, at least he didn’t to my knowledge, it was due to happen any day, but he didn’t live long enough to see that.

 

Upon joining S.H.I.E.L.D in 2001 they had asked me about the world around me, asked me what I saw and how bright it was. I had of course expressed that it was like any other, I didn’t tell them it was still vivid and blinding, despite the fact that I was 22. Coulson had told me about his world, how it was vivid and bright, he told me that he didn’t believe he had a soulmate and for a brief amount of time I thought that maybe I wasn’t alone in how I saw the world, but then I noticed that Coulson didn’t squint or recoil or flinch when certain tones appeared; I was definitely on my own.

 

After I brought Natasha in, everyone around S.H.I.E.L.D had thought we were soulmates, some agents would wink at me, others would thump their hand on my shoulder, a way of saying ‘You got lucky’ but my world was still bright, still overwhelming. Natasha had asked me about it whilst we had been in Russia, on one of our first night’s together she had looked me in the eye, deadpan, and asked how dull it was, I had told her the truth, it wasn’t even remotely. She hadn’t replied but had instead raised her eyebrow and smirked. We didn’t speak much about hers, she told me it was fairly normal, that her world had started dimming a little when she had turned 14 and that over the years it had progressed slowly, she estimated that she would meet her soulmate within the next ten to fifteen years; she wasn’t wrong.

 

By the winter of 2005, I had lost all hope, by this point I had met Bobbi and we’d been married and what not, but my world hadn’t turned, and neither had hers. We had tried to make it work, quite desperately actually, but to no avail, and after 10 months, ended our marriage. At this point, Natasha’s world was darkening, she told me about how her most vivid colour, ironically, was red and that everything else flitted with greys, whites and some pale tones. Mine, was still hideous, still hard to bare and still overwhelming. And then one night, in the folds of December, Nat and I were on a mission that meant we found ourselves in St Petersburg, I was sat at the window, surveying the night sky, it was late, around 3am and then it hit me. The night was blacker than usual, the stars were slightly dimmer and the blues were difficult to decipher. At the time I hadn’t thought much of it, but come morning, I woke up to the most beautiful colours, our room was bathed in a wonderful orange glow that settled a warmth deep in my stomach, I peeked up at the window and the light streaming through didn’t hurt my eyes anymore, it set a smile on my face.

 

The thing is though, I was still different. My colours didn’t dim anymore after that initial time, well, they did but it was an incredibly slow process, by 2009 Natasha’s world was immersed in black’s and white’s, she only saw the faintest colours and a slightly duller red. I however, hadn’t experienced much change, the most obvious, was the horrible lack of blue. It was still there but barely. I didn’t watch the sky at night anymore, although I had gained a warm and pleasant array of colours for the day, the night had fallen into complete darkness.

 

By 2012, I had lost all hope. Tony’s world had fallen into black and white when he had met Steve, Natasha with Pepper, Thor with Jane, and Bruce’s world had long since been black and white for Betty. My world on the other hand, had got no dimmer. It was weird following New York, people would come to me for advice on colours, Steve would ask if the red on his suit was too bright because he couldn’t entirely tell, Tony would ask which metallic shade looked better on his new models, even Natasha would come to me and ask if her new lipstick was too red or not. It was frustrating to say the least because I barely even understood colours myself, let alone helping other people with theirs.

 

It was early 2014 when it happened, I had recently been staying in Bed-Stuy but had come back to re-group with the others to spend an evening together watching films. I moved some stuff in because I knew I would probably be roped into staying at the tower for a bit, the others seemed to have a way of twisting me around their fingers. So, once I had settled in, we kicked off the night with Pulp Fiction, a film that cap seemed utterly fascinated by.

 

That film passed without any occurrences, it was during the snack interval that everything went to shit. I had gotten up to refill the popcorn bowl, luckily for me, being the only single one meant having an entire bowl to myself. I had hopped up off the couch and was engaging in friendly banter with Tony when a splitting sound pierced my ears, initially I figured it was my aids so I ripped them out hoping it would stop; it didn’t.

 

The sounds got increasingly louder and I found myself dropping to my knees and cradling my head in my hands, I could hear the muffled and distant voices of the others, I couldn’t make out their tones but I was assuming they were concerned. I was squinting my eyes tightly shut, trying to ease some of the pressure that seemed to be pressing against my ear drums. I felt Natasha signing words on my skin, willing me to look at her. And so I did, I opened my eyes and looked. And there she was, but something was off, I was seeing her partially in colour, and partially in black and white.

 

I can remember freaking out, throwing myself away from her and blinking in confusion. After telling the others Tony ran a whole bunch of tests but no-one could understand what was happening. After that the dynamics of the team changed, it was like I was breakable and fragile, apart from Natasha they all treated me like a child. When they thought I didn’t have my aids in they would whisper about running more tests and ‘helping me.’ I knew they were only trying to be kind, but they were making me feel more and more like a complete outcast.

 

So I left.

 

Again.

 

Last time I had left because my world got fucked up by a god.

 

Then I left because I had somehow fucked myself over.

 

I didn’t return again until the October of that year. I had seen the carnage that had been brought about by Cap, Natasha and their friend Sam; the fuckers almost levelled DC, that and they got me out a job. Well actually, that’s a lie, HYDRA got me out of a job, yet again.

 

I had ignored all of that, Kate had pleaded with me to consider helping them, but I had completely blanked her and continued to wallow in my pit of self-hatred. What had my life become? Jobless, avengerless, soulmateless and 120% confused.

 

Anyway, the call came in the late October.

 

Natasha told me everything, top to bottom. And she begged me to come to the tower, apparently there was a new resident, a resident that Steve had been stalking for quite some time, a resident who wasn’t exactly happy to be there, and they needed some backup ASAP.

 

So, it was with a heavy heart and an unclear head that I dragged my beaten ass out of bed and hauled myself to the tower. Upon getting there Tony met me in the Lobby, he looked flustered and was moaning about how Steve couldn’t leave anything alone and had to drag The Winter Soldier back to the tower in hopes of digging up his old friend Bucky. I had rolled my eyes and placed a hand on his shoulder, I told him everything was going to be fine.

 

Everything was not fine.

 

The minute I stepped out of the elevator, I knew everything was not okay.

 

Natasha was stood at the doors, her eyes were wild and laced with fury, her mouth was set in a stern line and her gaze was unwavering. She had explained that Bucky was in fact Bucky and NOT The Winter Soldier but, he had lashed out after Steve had dropped a mug, and he needed talking down before he hurt either himself or someone else.

 

I had sighed, of course I was the one that had to clean up this mess. Let’s call in our local brainwashing expert. I had waltzed into that room expecting a fight, what I didn’t expect was to find a soulmate.

 

The minute Barnes caught my gaze, my whole world collapsed into black and white. It had pulled a gasp from both of us and Bucky’s defensive pose dropped immediately, his shoulders slumped and his jaw dropped, his mouth falling open.

 

“What just happened?” Tony had asked from behind me because the whole room had fallen silent.

 

“Name?” Bucky had demanded, his voice was thick with emotion and his eyes were watery.

 

“Clint, Clint Barton.”

 

And that’s how I ended up here.

 

It’s a crisp winter’s morning and the air is bitter and it pecks at my skin, I recoil and pull the quilt up further, avoiding knocking Bucky’s flesh arm that is laced tightly around my middle. He groans with the movement and nestles closer, his breath hot against the skin of my neck.

 

“Morning,” he grumbles, he doesn’t open his eyes but I can see a smile tugging at his lips.

 

“It’s cold.” I say through the sleep evident in my voice.

 

“Damn right it’s cold. Please tell me you’re not intending on leaving this bed anytime soon because I certainly am not.” Bucky’s eyes slowly pull open and he squints up at me through the light of the early morning.

 

“Nope, wherever you are, I am.” I say softly as I lean across to move Bucky’s hair away from his eyes. I’ve never seen Bucky’s true eye colour but Steve tells me they were always a piercing grey/blue, it was his number one trait apparently.

 

But the thing is, I don’t mine giving up blue for Bucky. I don’t mind giving up the night sky of St Petersburg for Bucky. I have him. And I would give up everything for him, that’s why not seeing the colour doesn’t matter anymore.

 

I used to see vivid and bright colours.

 

Now I only see him.


End file.
